I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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