I heard we made out
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
