i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
