Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Blood and glitter go together right?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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