I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Four minutes until I can fart!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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