so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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