is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
