you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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