Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
