The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i would punch a child for taco bell
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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