And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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