I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
