clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
