I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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