listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
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