it was like his penis was on wheels.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
