just tell him i said nine months
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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