She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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