But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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