Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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