He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize