As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
