Christians are straight up FREAKS
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
