I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
