Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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