Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
