There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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