I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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