What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
