if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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