Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
