i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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