He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
