it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
