Dual....:-)
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
