She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
