I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
