STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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