I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
