why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
