I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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