so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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