absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Randomize
