Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
