Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
