I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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