I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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