sorry about calling you the devil all night.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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