man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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