I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize