this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
