i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
