some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
