So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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