never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
