Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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