will power is for people who don't want to get laid
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
