my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
