dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
